.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

Santanu's Blog Page

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

GUY RULES

Here Are the Guy Rules for Dolls

Please note that they are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR. Also football and rugby.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Ditto Saturday
Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Check your oil! Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done - not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape.

7 Comments:

  • Traitor! LOL

    By Blogger Catherine Vocalist, at 24/5/05 19:13  

  • Enjoyed! :)
    Sorry, I've not been by. Been very busy preparing for artshows. Hope all is well with you!

    By Blogger Green-Eyed Lady(GEL), at 25/5/05 13:59  

  • I agree!
    I really like the Victoria Secret one.

    By Blogger riskybiz, at 28/5/05 11:40  

  • I had seen this list before but not in a long while. I love it! My question is this ... if we follow all these rules, what is our reward? I hope not some sloppy, overweight, cigar smoking pinhead of a guy who walks around with his T-shirt hanging out and a day old growth on his face! haha

    By Blogger Weary Hag, at 30/5/05 03:08  

  • NYPC, I know what you mean, but it was too tempting to pass, so I posted it. LOL

    GEL, Your artwork is simply fabulous. I don't mind your delayed visits here, so long as you keep up the great work. My blogs will wait for you :-)

    Riskybiz, my dear pal,
    we are birds of the same feather, after all!! ;-)

    And, Carol, thats a tough one! But then Love is all about what you can give without asking anything in return, is it not so? (hahaha)

    By Blogger Santanu, at 30/5/05 14:23  

  • LOL, loved it!
    thanks for commenting on my blog.
    come by again.

    By Blogger gulnaz, at 30/5/05 19:38  

  • Although I see I commented on this about a month ago, I needed to tell you that I smiled just as "Broad"Ly and laughed just as heartily tonight. THis is a good one. :)

    SilverMoon (aka Green-Eyed Lady)

    By Blogger SilverMoon, at 30/6/05 11:26  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home